01-14-21 drabbles

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johnjae + things you said too quietly 

In the soft morning glow of sunrise, Jaehyun tells Johnny he loves him. He lets his fingertips spill his secrets against the warm skin on the inside of his arm and he lets brushing hair out of his eyes say things he could never imagine. Jaehyun tells him he loves him pressing soft kisses into the small of his waist and intertwining their fingers and in the haze of dawn they hold each other.  

Johnny wakes up to silence and he thinks it’s settling, it’s fitting, that neither of them speak on mornings like these because lord knows what confessions he would release. Sometimes he wishes Jaehyun would say something however. Laying in the ignorant bliss of a bed in the morning is easier than the words he is refusing to say. 

“Do you believe in alternate universes?” Johnny asks quietly. 

Jaehyun takes his time to reply. “Maybe. Do you?” 

In another universe, Jaehyun says ‘I love you’ with words. In another universe, Johnny hears them. In this one, they never break the sound barrier. 

jaekook + things you said when we were at the top of the world 

“Don’t look down.” 

“I wasn’t—I wasn’t planning on it.” 

“Okay good because you said you’re afraid of heights and we are very high up.” 

“Oh god why did I agree to this.” 

“Technically you didn’t agree to anything. You fell onto Aysei’s back and we couldn’t go all the way back to Ghosthelm.” 

“Please don’t bring me back to Ghosthelm. I’m wanted by seven different authorities there. And I didn’t fall, I was dropped.” 

“Okay, don’t have time to unpack all of that so just… hold on while we uh… fly… a little higher.”

“I’m going to be sick.” 

“Don’t throw up on my dragon before I even know your name please.”

“It’s Jaehyun,” the stranger says, eyes clenched shut. “Your name is Jungkook. Just… take us to the Top Of The World please. 

johnjae + things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear 

Johnny is not usually the type to sneak around corners. He’s too tall, too kind, too aware that sneaking around leads to hearing things he is not meant to hear. It really is an accident when he hears the whispers around the corner. 

“I didn’t mean to do it,” familiar voice. No one replies, he must be on the phone. His childhood of listening in to his mother’s phone calls leave him curious, and it’s Jaehyun, what kind of secrets could he be keeping? 

Really, Johnny doesn’t mean to eavesdrop. 

“I know I should tell him,” Jaehyun sounds tired. More tired than he has in a while. It makes Johnny want to listen. “I’ll tell him soon. Sit him down and tell him I can’t do the back and forth anymore.” 

More silence. Johnny leans in.
“I don’t want to give Johnny an ultimatum.” Johnny freezes. Jaehyun sighs. “Saying me or him feels like too much. He can have friends… I guess I didn’t think about what if I was the friend… Maybe I just won’t tell him.” 

Every bone in Johnny’s too big body wants desperately to fall around the corner and ask, ask, ask what Jaehyun is so afraid to tell him. His stomach twists. Johnny knows. He’s afraid to hear it. 

Jaehyun speaks again. “Well, maybe it’s better to break up before we even get together. Should I tell him not to come over? Would it be easier if he doesn’t come over?” 

The conversation is slipping into territory Johnny likes to pretend doesn’t exist. As he slips past the corner, unseen, on his way to another, farther place where he can’t hear the conversation anymore, his phone pings. 

Jaehyun : hey something came up. Raincheck? 

johnil + things you said after you kissed me

“Did you know that in the middle ages it would take monastic Scribes nearly 1000 hours to embroider the seat of your breeches with the word "Juicy"?” 

“Are you,” Johnny laughs. “Are you serious?” 

Taeil nods, then shakes his head. 

“I’m sorry that’s not an appropriate thing to say after a kiss.” 

Johnny laughs again, “do you want juicy pants? Is that what you’re saying? Or do you want me to get some? We can get matching ones.” 

“Just… just kiss me again, idiot.” 

johnyang + things you said when you were drunk 

In the morning, he won’t remember and that is what convinces Yangyang it’s okay. 

johnmark + things you didn’t say at all 

Mark does not let things slip through his fingers. He holds on to the things he wants as if he lets go, even a little bit, he’ll never see them again. It’s how he built his career, how he loves his friends, it’s even the way he grips his pencil. Too afraid to have things ripped from his hands, he holds them until his knuckles turn white. Mark’s determination to always reach what he wants is what really makes him fall in love. He’s driven and he’s kind and anyone would be a fool not to. 

Johnny wonders what he did to warrant being let go. 

He slips through Mark’s fingers like water, desperately grasping at whatever he can in order to keep his place only to drip off of his fingertips in tiny droplets. 

For everything Johnny does say, he holds another smaller thing that he didn’t. When he tells Mark he wrote the song about him, he steals away the part of him saying he’s written every song about him. When he tells Mark he loves him, he buries the part of him saying he would be okay with anything, he just isn’t sure what he’d do without him. When he tells Mark he’s moving, he hides the part of him saying he isn’t coming back. 

Johnny doesn’t ask the questions he doesn’t want the answers to. Mark doesn’t tell him the things he already knows. 

Between them are a collection of unclaimed love songs and one half written verse that tore them apart. 

A discography of heartbreak that never happened. 

2jae + things you said after it was over 

“I regret it,” Jaemin says quietly. “All of it, but mainly the part where I fall in love with you.” 

2jae + things you said after it was over 

“I wrote it about you.” A pin could drop and they would hear it. Jaemin doesn’t say anything. “The book. It’s about you. That’s why I was surprised you liked it. Because it’s about you.” 

Jaemin waits for the silence, the familiar searing silence he is used to breaking hearts in. “You never talked this much when we were together.” 

Jaehyun laughs, “you were never this quiet.” 

“Yeah… “ Jaemin sits in the silence. “So I take it you regretted it too.”